He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
