we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
