So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
