so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
