My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
