I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
