ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
