That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
