I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
