I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
