I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Be still, my beating vagina.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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