At least make sure they are 18
Why
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
