ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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