if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
