i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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