we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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