I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
