the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
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