Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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