Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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