hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Welp...herpes.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
