Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize