I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my liver is dry heaving
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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