Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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