i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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