I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
