hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
