I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
