Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just found puke in my bra..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
