Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
