porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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