Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
