Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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