i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize