My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
