If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
