Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
