You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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