i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
