I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
