guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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