There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize