I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
That reminds me...we need to get swords
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
