Will you blow on my dice?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
