I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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