In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
