You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
