Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you had me at cake vodka
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
