hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
