when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
