why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
