the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
