i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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