That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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