Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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