i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
