he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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