he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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