so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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